There are people who choose sexual abstinence, which means abstaining from sexual activity, even though they feel a desire for it. This may be for a limited time, for example when abstaining from sexuality before marriage or during exam preparations, but it can also be for the rest of someone’s life. The extent to which people really succeed in completely abstaining from sexual activity in the long term is not known. In research, however, it is assumed that sexual desire can decrease if sexual activity is abstained for a very long time. However, sexual desire may also increase as a result of abstinence. Very few people never feel sexual desire or the need for sexual contact. Some then call themselves “asexual”.

First of all, you need to know that it is okay to masturbate. The need for sexual pleasure is natural and an important part of our personality. That is why sexuality is also counted among the basic human needs. You can’t get rid of it, and masturbation (also called onanism) is a part of that.

 “Some do it frequently and some rarely or not at all. How often you do it can also fluctuate. Everyone has their own needs, and that’s okay. Masturbation is associated for many with a pleasurable feeling. Besides, it’s one thing you don’t have to tell anyone. […] And you don’t have to be ashamed of masturbation at all.”[i]

[i] Selbstbefriedigung, abgerufen am 28.11.2022, von www.loveline.de/themen/sex/selbstbefriedigung/

During puberty, you may think about sex a lot. Sometimes this can make you unfocused and be distracting. Masturbation does not increase these thoughts, rather you will often feel more relaxed afterwards and it can help you focus on other things again.

Every person can decide for themselves whether and how often they satisfy themselves. Some do it every day, others once a week, some never. This says nothing about whether they are good or bad people. In the meantime, other things that interest you, like sports or hobbies, can help you think less about sex or forget about it altogether. However, if you feel like you can’t think about anything else and you are struggling a lot, you can always turn to psychologically trained experts. You can find links here and counselling centres here.

Being in love is a great feeling. You want to be close to the other person. It’s always the same, whether that person is a boy or a girl. There are many ways to be in a relationship. Homosexuality is also part of this diversity, meaning that girls may fall in love with girls and boys with boys. Some people also fall in love with both men and women, which is called bisexuality. Some people are attracted to people regardless of gender identity, this is called pansexuality.

 No one can choose their orientation. No one can be brought up or even seduced into a homosexual orientation. Homosexuality is not a disease that needs to be treated! Sexual diversity is something very natural.

Most people start to become interested in other people sexually during puberty. If you are a boy who is only interested in girls or a girl who is only interested in boys, you will probably not give much thought to why you are heterosexual.

 You can tell if you are homosexual, for example, if you are a boy and find another boy sexually attractive. Maybe you want to be physically close to him and don’t know if it’s friendship or love. Sometimes people are physically attracted to both boys and girls. This is called “bisexuality” (=bi). Discovering that you are homosexual or bi doesn’t happen overnight. Usually it’s a longer process and the question of whether it’s “just” a phase might come up. Homosexual or bisexual young people might feel self conscious, mostly because they are afraid of not being accepted by everyone or of disappointing friends and family. They might also be afraid that others will treat them badly or that they will be discriminated against. Often, young people will try to hide the fact that they are homosexual or bisexual. Therefore, it is important not to exclude gay, lesbian and bisexual friends, but to accept them and make them feel safe.

A child is created through the fusion of a woman’s egg cell with a man’s sperm cell.

Women have two ovaries in their lower abdomen, one to the right and one to the left of the uterus. Each month, an egg matures in one of the two ovaries. When an egg is mature, it reaches one of the two fallopian tubes, which are connected to the uterus, during ovulation. There it can be fertilised by a sperm cell during the next 12 to 18 hours.

For this to happen, sperm cells have to pass through the vagina to the egg cell. This happens when a woman and a man have sexual intercourse without contraception and the man ejaculates in the woman’s vagina. In this case, 50 to 500 million sperm cells can flow towards the fallopian tubes. This can also take place if there is semen from a previous ejaculation on the penis or fingers and sperm cells enter the vagina and from there reach the fallopian tubes.

 If the mature egg cell fuses with a sperm cell, this fertilised egg cell moves to the uterus in the coming days and slowly grows there (see also question 1). In biological terms, this growth is caused by the fertilised egg cell dividing into more and more cells. In the beginning, this ball of cells is called an embryo. The embryo is nourished through the umbilical cord of the pregnant woman. After about nine and a half months, the development of the unborn child is complete and it can come into the world.

 When the pregnant woman goes into labour, she usually starts having contractions. The amniotic sac, which encloses the baby in the uterus, bursts. Amniotic fluid then flows out of the woman’s vagina. During contractions, the uterus tightens. This helps the woman to push the baby out through the vagina. This is often very strenuous and painful for the woman. If the woman’s partner is present, they are often excited. In Germany, most babies are born in hospital, but some are born in so-called birthing centres or at home. Sometimes a caesarean section has to be performed. In this case, the baby is surgically removed from the mother’s womb – this can only be done in hospital.

HIV is the virus that can cause the disease AIDS.

HIV is the abbreviation of the English term Human Immunodeficiency Virus.

 This means that the HI virus weakens the body’s own defences. For example, people can contract the virus during sex with someone who carries HI viruses in their body.

AIDS is the most advanced stage of the infection.

Acquired: Acquired through infection.

Immune Deficiency: Weakness of the immune system.

Syndromes: Various signs of illness at once.

AIDS is the result of an HIV infection if the infection is not recognised in time by taking an HIV test and treated accordingly. At that point, the HI virus has weakened the body’s own defence system to such an extent that it is difficult for the body to fight infections and certain types of cancer. This can lead to life-threatening diseases. Today, however, there are drugs that can prevent the disease from breaking out and a person from passing on the infection. An HIV-positive person must take these drugs for the rest of their life. So far, a cure for HIV infection has not been found.

HIV is relatively difficult to transmit: there is only a risk of infection when bodily fluids that contain high levels of the virus come into contact with wounds or mucous membranes of the body. These fluids include, above all, blood, semen, vaginal fluid or the fluid film on the mucous membrane of the rectum of people with an HIV infection who are not taking medication against HIV.

Most people become infected with HIV during sexual intercourse without a condom.

The risk of transmission of HIV as well as other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) is high during anal (penetration of the anus by the anus) or vaginal sexual intercourse (penetration of the vagina). You can protect yourself and your partner from getting STIs by using a condom. This is especially important if you change partners frequently and don’t know each other very well. Some people also take HIV medication as a precaution to protect themselves from infection if they have sex without a condom. However, you should only take this pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) in consultation with a doctor. These drugs are much more expensive than condoms and can have side effects.

HIV is not transmitted during the exchange of affectionate touch such as kissing and petting (sexual acts without penetration of the penis into the anus or vagina).

The risk of transmission is also very low during oral sex (sex using the mouth). To avoid any risk, sperm or menstrual blood should not be ingested.

Additionally, many couples who start out having protected sex (with a condom) get to know each other first and take an HIV test before having unprotected sex with each other. However, for this to be effective, it is important that they do not have unprotected sex outside of this relationship.

There is a high risk when syringes are shared. People who inject drugs should only ever use their own syringes and never share them with others.

Similarly, personal hygiene items such as shaving equipment or toothbrushes should never be shared with others.

No, when you drink from the same cup or glass as someone with HIV you cannot contract the virus. Saliva does not contain enough viruses for you to get the infection.

No, oral sex is not more dangerous for the man than it is for the woman. The risk of contracting HIV from oral sex is low for both, see question 28.

 If you want to be completely sure, avoid ingesting sperm and menstrual blood.

Yes, there is a small chance of transmission when sperm or menstrual blood is ingested. However, the virus can’t be transmitted when kissing someone that has the virus. Saliva is not contagious.

Yes, you can contract the virus from an HIV-infected person during unprotected anal or vaginal sexual intercourse (without condoms). Women can also get the virus from HIV-positive men. You cannot tell if a person is HIV-positive by just looking at them.

This happens very rarely, but it is possible if the condom breaks or gets stuck in the woman’s vagina. When the vaginal mucosa then comes into contact with sperm, there is a risk of infection. It is important to note that this can happen not only to the woman if the man is HIV-positive. The man can also become infected if the woman is HIV-positive.

Several conditions must be met before you can become infected:

• The person whose blood you come into contact with must be HIV-positive.
• There needs to be a sufficient level of virus in the blood of the HIV-positive person for there to be a possibility of infection. If this person takes medication against HIV, the amount of virus in their blood (viral load) can drop low enough so that they are no longer infectious. 

• The HI virus must be able to enter the bloodstream of the person who is not yet infected. This can happen through contact with mucous membranes and wounds. Uninjured skin such as on the hand or arms however, offers no possibility of infection.

This is extremely unlikely as long as the person biting you does not bleed and there is no blood exchange with them. The amount of HIV viruses in the saliva is so small that no HIV transmission into the wound of the person bitten can occur.

Yes, the baby can be infected by the mother, especially during birth and breastfeeding. In the womb, it is largely protected because it has its own blood circulation. If it turns out during the prenatal care examinations that the pregnant woman is HIV-positive, steps are taken to ensure that the child will not become infected. This includes the pregnant woman taking HIV-specific medication during pregnancy and not breastfeeding after birth. The infant also receives HIV-specific medication shortly before birth and in the first weeks of life. The birth should take place in a specialised clinic. The child can be born by caesarean section and also by natural birth. Almost 100 percent of the children are then born healthy.